The Cure
by bonniereads
Summary: It's Casey's 22nd birthday. Will bad luck follow her like it did on her 16th birthday? How will Derek react? Will he be able to be there for her? (Chapter fic)
1. Chapter 1

**My New Chapter Fic...Wee...A/N at bottom for more info.**

**I never put this, but I probably should at least once for now.**

**I don't own LWD or anything to do with it. I just own my ideas.**

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Casey and Derek couldn't agree on anything. They never could agree on food choices, television programming, or even what brand of toilet paper to get. When it came to making a decision, they made sure that they never agreed on anything.

Being back at the McDonald-Venturi house was very different now, that they could agree on.

They'd been home a couple of weeks now, and it was quite…crowded. Nora and George took Casey's room, moving Simon, who was now five, into Derek's room. The two stepsiblings were left to sleep in the basement on two twin beds.

They were already aware of the sleeping arrangement, because they'd had the same arrangement for every holiday after the baby was born. The only difference now was this was a long term arrangement rather than a few weeks long vacation from school. This was it.

They had a privacy curtain between the beds, but other than that, they were room buddies. The fight they had the night they found out about their permanent room arrangements was one to go down in history. It wasn't even a fight with each other, either. Nope. It was with their parents.

They'd obviously lost, though, because they were still in this room without a choice. They didn't look on the bright side of anything. Just because they were friends didn't mean they had to like it.

"Think of it as a sleepover!" Nora had beamed at the angered faces of the stepsiblings.

They still rolled their eyes about that to this day.

They were passed all of that now, though.

They'd already graduated from Queens and had moved back home. Casey had a handful of schools in the area that she was going to apply and test at to see if they would hire the fresh out of college elementary school teacher. She'd had plenty of experience as a student teacher her final year of university, so she knew what she was up against. Derek was a film major, and was planning on teaming up with someone he'd met a while back in a nearby town on a documentary they were supposed to get paid big for. Hopefully then, he'd be able to move out. Casey had already tested at a few schools in the area and was just waiting for results. Soon enough, like Derek, she'd have the funds to move out as well. They both just had to wait it out.

The two had lived together in nearby apartment on campus. It wasn't the best arrangement, but they managed to finally start getting along after a while. That didn't take long to do, because they were already on the verge of being friends during their senior year. Often he would talk her out of a bad decision before she made a fool of herself, and she'd help him study when she knew he was having a hard time. They worked. They disagreed on everything, but they were still friends. Not that they'd tell anybody that, though.

Today was a special day for Casey, though. Yes! Today, Casey McDonald was turning 22. Casey enjoyed being the youngest one in her graduating class, even though it was just by a month or so. It made her feel like she'd accomplished more than anyone else at a younger age…no matter what that age was.

After showering and dressing herself up that morning, she thought about her night's rest. She'd been sleep sweating more than usual lately, which was weird, because she had never been like that until a few months before she'd graduated. Perhaps it was another case of futuritis? Maybe. The possibility of it was there, because she'd had another mini freak out before graduation as well, but got over it after the ceremony. These night sweats needed to stop though, because they were keeping her from sleeping, leaving her more tired during the day.

She hopped upstairs, where her sister and mother were already plating breakfast in the kitchen.

"Happy birthday!" Lizzie exclaimed before her mother had seen her. Lizzie ran to her sister, and embraced her tightly.

"Thanks, Liz…" Casey murmured against her sister's hair.

"Can't believe you slept in!" her mother exclaimed, taking her in her arms. "Happy birthday, my Casey…" she squeezed Casey until she squeaked.

"Yeah, sorry about that, I didn't realize…"

"It's your birthday, and you'll sleep if you want to!" George walked into the kitchen and embraced his stepdaughter.

Everyone gave her hugs and wished her a happy birthday before she got to sit down at the table. Even Derek gave her an awkward pat on the arm with a nod of his head, to which she just rolled her eyes.

Casey picked at her food while she wondered what she was going to do that night. She hadn't really kept in touch with anyone from high school, so a big party couldn't be in the question. Emily had stopped contacting her after her breakup with Derek. She really only had her friends from university, but they all lived many hours away, so that was out of the question. She wouldn't mind a night out with her family…

"Casey, stop scratching yourself, you're going to reach bone soon!" Lizzie scolded her sister. Casey was unaware that she was scratching her neck now. When she stopped, she realized how much it itched, and was confused, because she hadn't realized she was scratching it. She needed to snap out of these nervous habits, seriously.

"Are you alright, honey?" Nora, concerned, asked her daughter. "You haven't even touched your food, and you hardly ate last night."

"I'm just not very hungry…" Casey smiled at her mom.

"She hardly ate at Queens, too. It was awesome!" Derek reached over and took the bacon from her plate.

"De-rek!" the table chorused.

"You have lost some weight, though…" Nora murmured to her daughter. "Perhaps we should get you checked out for stress, yeah?"

"Mom, I'm sure I'm fine!" Casey shook her head. The last thing she wanted to think about right now was going to the doctor. The last time she went to the doctor on her birthday, she had appendicitis.

"Casey…" her mother warned.

Derek laughed. "Leave it to Casey to get the ick on her birthday!"

"Derek, close your mouth when you're eating." George scolded, and looked at his stepdaughter. "Casey, it's your birthday, but I'm sure it wouldn't hurt anything to go to a quick checkup."

"Have you been sleeping well?" Lizzie cocked an eyebrow up at Casey.

Casey hated this kind of attention, especially because she didn't want anyone to worry about her on her special day.

"Well…I sleep fine…"

"She sweats like a hog!" Derek cut in.

"Derek!" she cried. "I do not sweat like a hog! People get night sweats! That happens!" Casey nodded, looking around the table to see if anyone agreed.

"Sick…" Edwin said under his breath.

Casey exhaled deeply and sat back in her chair. "Great." She shook her head.

"Derek, how would you know Casey sweats?" Marti chirped in. Marti was always observant of Derek and Casey's relationship, or lack thereof. She was now 12, and spoke a little less, but was always sure to see that her opinion was heard.

Everyone looked at him, and he visibly swallowed his food, looking at all the faces that were turned towards him.

"Uh…because I can smell her…" he rolled his eyes. Casey scoffed. Everyone else shook their heads. In reality, though, since they shared a room he would sometimes hear her get up and watch her cross the room while fanning herself. She would walk to the restroom, and emerge with a separate set of clothes. It didn't really worry him, but it probably should.

"Look, if it makes everyone feel better, I'll head to the doctor around noon and I'm sure they'll give me something for stress." She shook her head, poking at her food, but still not eating it.

"I'll go with you, dear. We can have lunch afterwards, and I'll take you shopping. How does that sound?" Nora smiled at her daughter.

"Who'll take care of Simon?" George's eyes widened. "I have to go to the office right quick to finish up some files…"

"Derek and the kids could watch him, I'm sure."

Derek grinned. "Yeah, the kids can. I just came up to eat." He scooted his chair out, and walked out of the room.

Many hours later, Derek emerged from his nap, and walked back upstairs. The house was unusually quiet, and he remembered it was Casey's birthday, so they probably took her out to dinner or something.

"Thanks for the invite, Spacey." He rolled his eyes, because seriously, they were friends enough for her to possibly want him to go with. He walked further into the living room lazily, and plopped down on the recliner with a bag of potato chips.

It was soon enough that he got bored of being alone and he headed out to hang-out with Sam, who happened to be down for the summer.

"Isn't today Casey's birthday?" Sam cocked an eyebrow up at Derek a few minutes after his arrival.

"And?"

"I just figured since the two of you were getting along better now that y'all were doing something…" he said uneasily from the look his friend was giving him.

"Please." Derek scoffed. "We tolerate each other, that doesn't make us friends."

"If you say so…"Sam shrugged. He really didn't want to get into it with his friend, especially when even Sam knew that the stepsiblings had been getting along a lot better in their final year of university. He could deny all he wanted to.

It was really good catching up with Sam, considering they rarely saw each other in the four years they were attending school apart. Sam actually stuck with hockey throughout his college career, but settled on coaching for a long term thing. He'd already gotten an amazing opportunity somewhere in Toronto, and Derek was quite proud of his lifetime best friend.

Sam had never really talked about future plans with anyone before, not even Derek. So you could imagine his surprise when he found out that his friend was studying to be a coach. Mostly just surprised his friend had applied in colleges. Sam studied his butt off in high school, but never mentioned the future once.

Derek hung out with his friend until around midnight, when he decided to get back home. The house was dark, but the cars were there, so he knew they were all home but most likely asleep.

When he walked into the house, he was proven right, and quietly made his way down to the basement. Casey must have been asleep, because the curtain was up. He didn't bother peeking around to see her because she was probably knocked out from whatever medication the doctors gave her.

Because her bed was against the wall, and out of the view of the rest of the room, he quickly changed into his night clothes, and got under his covers. For a birthday, it really was a dull day. Nevertheless, as high maintenance as Casey acted, she was pleased with whatever she received.

"Happy birthday, Case…" he whispered before he fell asleep.

When he woke up in the morning, he heard talking upstairs. He groaned and rolled out of bed. Silently, he peeked around the curtain to see if Casey was still asleep, but her bed was neatly made.

"Of course…" he mumbled and took his time getting to the restroom for a shower. Life was really dull waiting around for his friend to get all the contracts signed for the film they were getting involved in, so all he had to do during the day was bum around until that day came.

After toweling off and getting dressed, he hopped up the stairs, hoping breakfast was made or something, because he was starving.

As he walked into the kitchen, he could see straight away that nothing was made, but there was a certain…_air_ to the atmosphere. A very negative air, at that. He looked around for the voices he'd heard earlier, and sure enough, sitting at the table was Edwin and Marti looking down at their bowls of cereal silently eating.

"Why so serious, sibs?" he grabbed his own bowl and started pouring cereal. His siblings looked up quickly. Edwin's mouth hung open as if unsure of what to say. Marti only looked at her older brother as if seeking comfort…but why?

"What's going on?" he said more urgently, forgetting his bowl, and pulling up a chair next to Marti and putting his arms around her.

"It's Casey, Smerek…" Marti pushed her face into his shoulder, and that's when he realized something was wrong, because Marti hadn't been acting childish in the time that they'd been back after graduating univeristy, so to say he was worried was an understatement.

"W…What about Casey?" he asked uneasily, his stomach dropping. Edwin was still unsure how to say it, so he put his spoon down, and rubbed his face with his hands, because he wasn't sure how to tell his older brother about his older stepsister

"Derek…we were going to tell you, but we didn't want you to find out over the phone…" he shook his head.

"God dammit, Ed, just tell me! What happened to Casey?" his frustrated brother yelled at him, because he was already pissed enough that they'd obviously known since yesterday, and he was just finding out now.

Edwin took a deep breath, still not sure how he was going to say it, either. The easiest way to get this done was to be straightforward about it. No holding back. Here it goes…

"They think Casey has cancer."

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**Dun dun dunnn...**

**well, I'm not sure how long this fic will be, but it will be more than a couple chapters. Maybe five at most? We'll see.**

**I'll tell y'all my inspiration in the last chapter.**

**What I write from here on out will be what is to my knowledge from personal experience. Not that I had a sickness, just someone dear to me, but like i said...last chapter.**

**I hope y'all will enjoy this fic, and please review! i love that feedback.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter two. It gets a little sad-ish. Enjoy.**

**short A/N at bottom:).**

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Casey sighed as she leaned against the uncomfortable hospital pillow, shifting as to not bother the bandage on her neck. She'd been here about a week now, going through tests and surely enough stress to last herself a lifetime.

She couldn't leave yet. Not for another week at least, and she was tired of the looks of sympathy from everybody around her. Her mother cried enough for the both of them. Lizzie wouldn't stop hugging her. Marti drew her up a million get well cards (that she left beside her bed, because they were the cutest thing ever). George kept hugging her like it would be the last time he did so. Edwin gave her a long talk with statistics he'd looked up online to comfort her, and honestly it did help, but that didn't mean she wasn't sick of it nonetheless. It was all so irritating.

The one person who'd yet to even acknowledge she was in this place was Derek. She hadn't heard a peep from him since the morning of her birthday. She didn't bother asking the family where he was because if he didn't show up…then he didn't show up. She wasn't going to force him to visit her. He hated hospitals the way she did.

When she'd come to the doctor on that day, it was just supposed to be a talk about her stress levels messing with her sleep. So of course she'd been relaxed at the time, already knowing what she was there for.

When Dr. Kneely walked into the room, he asked her basic questions, and she answered them for him easily. All he did was cock an eyebrow up at her, and pulled out his stethoscope. He went through with his normal procedures of checking her heartbeat, moving onto her ears and for the normal physical exam.

It was when he reached to an area around her throat to check her lymph nodes that his relaxed posture turned to a more serious one, and he felt a little longer with a perplexed look on his face. He then backed away from her, and checked his notes again, his brows furrowed together.

Casey was then sent to a different wing of the hospital where she was to answer more questions about family medical history, but still nobody was telling her anything as to what was going on. While they waited for yet another doctor to walk in the room, Nora held Casey's hand tightly.

"I'm sure it's all just procedure, honey." And even Casey could tell that her mother was very unsure of herself. Casey just nodded, because she couldn't form words at this point. What was going on, and why were they keeping her in the dark for so long?

Everything that happened was such a blur. She had to undergo many blood tests, get CAT scans, and was now in yet another waiting room waiting for whatever was happening to just be explained in full to her. At this point she already knew that the doctor had felt a lump in her neck and collar bone area, and that was enough for her to go on full panic attack in her head, but she tried to relax herself by thinking that just because there's an odd bump, doesn't mean anything.

All of this had taken up a good portion of her day. Some birthday.

She waited a while in the room, when a few doctors walked in, and she sat up. Nora's grip on her hand strengthened, if possible.

They stood, talking so many medical terms that Casey had no idea what any of it meant. They spoke as if in deep conversation, though loud enough for the mother and daughter to hear everything. Soon enough, the conversation was getting on Casey's nerves enough that she had to speak up.

"I'm sorry, what is it you guys are saying?"

One doctor, who she remembered as Dr. Valdez turned around and sighed heavily, checking his clipboard, and then facing Casey. "You have cancer, Miss McDonald."

With that, he turned around and continued the conversation. He'd just said it as if he were plainly reading out a shopping list. Like _nothing_.

"I'm sorry…what?" Nora was the one who spoke up, because Casey had lost herself.

Everything around her was silent. She could see their mouths moving, but she didn't hear what they were saying. All she remembered was sitting all the way back in her chair, and letting out a breath.

She also remembered looking up and her mother continuously asking questions, and the doctors trying to explain whatever this was to her. Nora was frantic, as Casey should be…but she wasn't. No. She was trying to figure out if this was really happening to her, because where did she go wrong? Hadn't she been on a health kick her whole life? She was in perfect shape, ate the right things…what went wrong?

When the doctors left the room to go set up more appointments for Casey, all she did was blink up at her mom unknowingly. She still hadn't caught onto what was happening. She stood up and walked to a nearby window and watched the scenery around the hospital. It was pretty late right now, a little past 8 or something.

Nora was now calling George. Casey listened to her mother while she tried to control herself while she explained to her husband what was going on.

"George…where are the kids?" Casey could vaguely hear the word _mall_ through Nora's phone. She always did keep it at a high volume. "Georgie…something has happened…" she waited for George's response. "Casey has cancer…" Casey could hear George's gasp, and she looked down at her fingers. "I know it was…just so unexpected…" Nora sniffled as she listened to George. "She's taking it better than me, actually…" George talks again. "It's something called Hodgkin's Disease…I had never heard of it, but apparently it's in her lymph nodes around her neck and they're setting her an appointment for surgery tomorrow, and she'll need to undergo more tests to see just how far along all of this is…either way…she'll need to undergo treatment, but we won't know all that for a few days…" Nora waited again as George processed it. "I know, Georgie…she has to stay here overnight, do you think you can grab some of her things for her?"

Casey sighed, and looked back out the window. What was she to do now? There was no telling how long any of this would last, or if she would even survive. She wrapped her arms around herself, and tried to keep warm.

"Yeah, bring everyone, I'm sure she needs the comfort. Call Liz and tell her to bring Ed and the other guys over here…Oh Derek's there at the house still? You can bring him the—"

"No…" it was the first word she'd spoken since she was informed of the news.

"Hold on, George." Nora put her hand over the receiver, and looked at her eldest daughter, confused. "Why not Derek?"

"I…I just don't want him to come right now…not tonight…" Casey shook her head, and looked back out the window.

"No Derek tonight, George. Under Casey's orders."

Perhaps he didn't come because she didn't want him to come that first night. She hadn't told anyone she didn't want him there. She just didn't want him going on the first night because she could take sympathy from everyone except him. If he ever felt bad for her, she didn't know how she would react or how he would. She just needed a night to figure out her reaction to any possible scenario.

Nevertheless, a she'd been there a week, and still hadn't heard a peep from him or anything about him from the family.

After they removed whatever it was from her neck, she was told that she would need to do more tests and some marrow samples. That wasn't a fun day. She still cringed remembering the pain, and shook it off. She heard she would possibly need 4-8 cycles of chemotherapy, and then need to move onto radiation therapy, which she'd never even heard of until this past week.

She did look on the brighter side of all of this. Edwin happily informed her that since they'd caught it early on there was a 90-95% survival rate. Apparently, Hodgkin's Lymphoma was one of the most curable of all cancers. That was the most comforting news of all. She needed to look on the brighter side of all this to really get through it. She didn't need to waist her time being negative, because if her days were numbered, she needed everyone to remember her as herself. An optimist.

She nodded her head and smiled. She looked down in her lap at a book that Lizzie had brought to her from home. She had a lot of time to herself lately. Nora, George, Liz, and Ed all worked during the day; Marti was at day camp at the high school, and Simon was being babysat by Mrs. Higginbotham. She did enjoy this time, though, because it meant that nobody was going to sit around and feel bad for her.

"Leave it to the Space Case to be a keener when she's already graduated college."

Casey jerked her head painfully towards the door. She winced, and put her hand lightly over her bandage. She exhaled a shaky breath.

"I knew I should've put you on the 'Don't allow inside' list…" she shook her head at her stepbrother as he walked in.

"Yeah, well even if I _was_ on that list, I think I'd find a way in." he sat next to her and it was then that she noticed two things. One was a bag of possibly her stuff because it was purple, and that he looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"What's in the bag?" she cocked an eyebrow up at him, and sat up a little. Derek reached over, and moved her IV around before she sat on it.

"Oh, some stuff that Nora asked me to bring over before I head out." He shrugged.

"Head out?" her eyebrows rose.

"The documentary, remember?"

"Oh, yeah…" she nodded, and grabbed for the bag that he'd placed on her bed. "How long are you supposed to be gone? You're meant to travel and stuff for that, if I recall. Ready to leave your mark on the poor unknowing world?" she grinned at him as she reached in the bag and found a chocolate bar, ripping it open as soon as her fingers found it. She'd been eating hospital food all week, and needed a reminder that there was a delicious world out there.

"Yeah, the better question is if the world is ready for me." He smirked. She smiled, and threw a chocolate at him. He sighed, and leaned back in his chair, eating the chocolate.

"You look awful, by the way. You okay?" she gave him a wary look.

He chuckled, and looked down at his hands, still shaking his head.

"Leave it to you to worry about someone else's well-being while you're in the hospital bed with cancer." He looked up at her, and she saw the pain in his eyes.

"You know…" she looked into her hands at the half eaten candy. "You're the first person who's come in here without first weeping and given me their sympathy…"

"Oh, you have my sympathy, Case…I just…" he looked away from her now, and ran a hand through his hair. "I haven't really processed any of this…"

"That makes two of us." She shrugged. "I didn't even know what was going on until after the doctors had left and mom was calling George."

"And how is _your_ dad handling this?" he asked. He hadn't heard anything on Dennis's end of all this.

"Better than yours, which doesn't surprise me. Dad isn't as close with us as he was six years ago, even if that was hardly anything." She shrugged. "He's offered to pay 2/3 of the hospital expenses. But that's all I've heard."

"You haven't spoken to him?" Derek tilted his head to the side. Dennis was pretty absentee from the McDonald girls lives, but he didn't expect this.

"No, he just talked to mom, and he was trying to end the call for a meeting. He just offered to pay expenses."

"You have the rest of the fam, Case." He tried to comfort her.

"Oh, I know. I'm not worried about him right now. I'm just happy that there's one less stress for me to worry about. I know this could get pricey."

He sighed, and stood up to sit on the edge of her bed, his back to her. She was being extremely cavalier about all of this, and he was anything but. He needed to face away from her. Anything to prevent him from having to look at her and that bandage and the IVs and all the machines she was connected to.

"I can't even imagine how scared you were." He changed the subject.

"Not really scared so much as mad that I spent my birthday in a hospital." She laughed a little. "Ed tell you the statistics?" she nudged his side with her finger.

"Yeah, it looks good, but it varies…" he shook his head. Casey could see how hard it was for him. She reached over, and held his upper arm lightly to comfort him.

They'd spent a lot of time together over these seven years. They lived together for three at home, and lived together in college for four. They were better friends with each other than they liked to admit, but nonetheless, they cared for each other more than words can say. They were Derek and Casey.

Now one of them was in a sticky situation, and the other couldn't be there for them. Derek couldn't stand it, either.

He felt her grip on his arm tighten a little, and he looked over at her.

"I'm going to be fine, you know." She nodded.

"And what if you're not, Casey?" his brows knitted together. "Who am I going to pick on then?"

Casey felt a knot in her throat as she heard his voice grow thicker. "Derek, I'll be sure to be fine, because I absolutely cannot back down from a fight. Even if this fight has nothing to do with you."

He grinned weakly, and looked away from her.

"What time do you have to leave?" she asked him softly. He looked over to a wall, and sighed.

"Now…" he turned to her, and shrugged. "I'm gonna be gone for about two months, Case."

She inhaled sharply. She didn't want him to leave for two months. Hell, she didn't want him to leave for two minutes. This was the most comfortable she'd been all week. It was the longest time they'd spent apart in seven years, and now he wanted to leave her for two months? At a time like this? But no, he needed this. To not be stressed out over her life when he had his to live. She would get out there just as soon as this was all over. For sure.

"I want you to have fun, Der." She nodded with a smile. "For both of us, yeah?"

And then he leaned in and hugged her. He rested his chin on her opposite side of the bandage, and put his arms around her the best he could around all the wires. She put her arms around him as well, and savored it because she didn't know when she'd see him again. _If_ she'd see him again.

"Be strong, Casey." He whispered. "Please."

She nodded her head, and squeezed him. "You, too, Derek. You too."

When he pulled back, he cupped her face and pushed a gentle kiss to her mouth, catching her by surprise. He then helped her get situated back in a comfortable sitting position, and stood up.

"I'll be sure to keep in touch, okay?"

She nodded with a soft smile, still rosey from the kiss she'd just received. He wanted to remember that look. Damn her for making him such a pessimist in this situation. Casey was a strong person, and she could do this with her eyes closed. She's too good for any of this to get her down.

"Please do! I'm sure I'll be so bored every day 'til this is over." She laughed. He grinned, and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

They exchanged a goodbye, and he was gone.

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**I don't know much about medical stuff or terms. I just know from experience from my inspiration. I know everyone's cancers vary as far as tests go and treatments. don't bite my head off if i do anything wrong, I really am just writing what is to my knowledge.**

**The next chapter will be when Derek returns from his filming and stuff and he's going to see how Casey is doing two months later.**

**I know the doctors seemed a little cold, but I'll explain that in my last chapter when I do my a/n about my inspiration.**

**I almost didn't write the (quick) kiss, but I think Derek sort of feels like this is the last time he'll see her, because he's worried about her and he really cares for her. so why not kiss her, right? **

**anyhow, i hope you guys are liking it so far, and i hope to update soon:).**

**Review and tell me if you're liking it.**

**again, please don't hate me if i get anything wrong. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry it took so long! writer's block got the best of me, and once i started writing, my internet got cut off lol. Im back now, though:).**

**Enjoy!**

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Casey had gone through her first three days of chemo and was on her resting period now for about two weeks. She wasn't feeling so well, but tried to be positive that this was all healing her; which was all a little hard considering she was having a hard time with her eating habits and she was exhausted 98% of the time.

She'd had plenty of support, though. Her family was with her as much as they could be with work and the fact that her siblings were now getting ready to go off to college.

She had support outside of her family, too, though. Sam visited her during her first week to 'be there for her'. He was very sweet as always, but his look of sympathy didn't go unnoticed by her. She didn't like that, but really couldn't blame him because she would be looking at him or anyone else the same way if the roles were reversed.

After a good amount of time talking about what was going on with her, she lightened the mood by asking him to play around of Babe Raider with her. His sigh of relief indicated that he was happy she was chippering up by asking him to do something totally in his own league.

They'd only played for a little less than an hour when Casey had to call it quits because she was exhausted. And that was her first visitor.

She really didn't want to tell any of her college friends what was going on, because she didn't want to worry them too much. Keeping them in the dark made her feel guilty, but she figured it was just easier this way.

Emily had visited her, too, which was a big shock to Casey because they'd lost touch before the first year of university because of the whole breakup thing. At first she wondered how Emily even found out, but then remembered that her parents had told the Davis family after they walked Marti home from hanging out with Dimi. Of course Em had been blubbering about how sorry she was about lost time and that they should make the best of what time they did have.

That bothered Casey, because she was intent on the fact that she was going to beat this; and Emily wasn't.

Nevertheless, she caught up with her old friend, and she remembered why she enjoyed being friends with Emily. Emily had the capacity of jumping from subject to subject without even thinking, and soon after she'd finished crying about Casey's sickness, she was sooner gossiping about their old classmates.

Apparently Kendra and Noel had gone to the same university and were expecting their first child in a few months. That was…weird, because she remembered both individuals easily, and they were polar opposites. She wasn't even aware they'd ever spoken to one another during their time in high school. Good for them, though. At least they had something good going for them.

Emily didn't stay much longer after that. Before she left, she made sure to cry once more before she walked out the door. Casey just smiled, and comforted her friend.

Casey was sure to take a nap after that. Emily was exhausting enough when she actually had the energy to deal with her.

During her second week of her resting period, when nobody was home, she was in the shower trying to relax. She was still so tired, and wasn't at all prepared for the side effects of her chemo. It was all happening a lot faster than she thought it would, and was a little put off. She was mostly just nauseated for the most part, and really thirsty…like all the time.

As she rinsed the shampoo out of her hair, she felt something stringy. She quickly wiped soap from her eyes, and saw that she'd had a clump of her own hair in her fingers. Separated from her head.

As she felt the lump swell up in her throat, she leaned her forehead against the tile of her shower wall, choking back her sobs.

She didn't remember the rest of her shower or getting dressed. She just remembered running to her cell phone afterwards, and dialing her mother's cell phone number.

"Casey? Is everything okay? If you're looking for your bottled water, I put it on top of the shelf above the washer…" Nora rambled.

"Mom…" she was trying to control her voice, but failed miserably.

"What's wrong, honey? Are you feeling nauseas again?"

"Mom, my hair…my hair…" she started crying again.

"Oh, Casey…" she realized what was going on now.

"I didn't think it would happen so fast, mom…" Casey squeezed her eyes tightly, as she ran her fingers through her hair again, hoping for nothing, but again being disappointed to the long brown hair that remained between her fingers.

Nora was a bit surprised to hear her daughter crying. Though it was to be expected that she'd be upset at some point, it still came as a shock, because Casey had been so calm and collected this whole time. Even though this all upset Nora to hear Casey crying, it really was a relief to finally get another emotion out of her daughter.

"Sweetie, do you want me to come home?" the concern in her voice was evident, but Casey could tell that she was busy with work.

"No, mom, this could wait for you to get home…which will be at what time?" she sniffled.

"Around five o'clock."

That was in three hours.

"I'll be here mom…" Casey sighed, trying to relax.

She was glad she had the house to herself. Really glad.

If anyone had seen her freaking out about this, they would be hovering over her—possibly blubbering as well—and she just didn't need that right now. Right now she needed time to herself to think through what was happening to her right now.

So she was losing her hair. All that meant was that the chemo was doing what it was supposed to. This gave her an excuse to wear more hats, or even wigs. She can definitely do wigs! Even head wraps. She'd seen plenty of women at the hospital wearing hair wraps when she'd go for chemotherapy. She can definitely get into that.

She smiled slightly to herself. There were worst cancers she can have and worse side effects. At least this was what she told herself to keep from overly freaking out.

She whipped out her laptop, and looked up different head wraps she could find online, while simultaneously writing an email to a certain step brother that she didn't realized she was missing until now.

/

Derek sighed, as he threw his stuff into the back of Mark's van, who was who he was doing the documentary with. They were filming and documenting the life of a Youtube sensation, which kind of seemed weird at first because half of them were vloggers. This was probably one of the coolest things Derek had ever done in his young life. He'd met a lot of amazing and talented people along the way and even got to guest star in a few videos with them.

All of the excitement really took his mind off of…things.

He'd definitely kept in touch with the family to be sure she was doing good. Occasionally he'd call, and she'd answer the phone. Her voice would sound a little wary at times, and that put him off until she would crack a joke to put him down, and he decided that was what was keeping him going.

A few weeks after he'd left home, he found his first email from her. She didn't say much, just asked how he was doing, and cracked a random joke at his expense that went something along the lines of "you're totally missing out on the perfect opportunity of making fun of me right now." He didn't know what that meant, but it made him smile. He was glad she was thinking of him, because he was always thinking of her when he wasn't busy.

Half the time when he thought about her, it wasn't even about her having cancer. It was just him wondering what she was doing, and wishing she was there with him. He'd spent so much time with her in these past years that he didn't realize that he was so used to just looking over his shoulder and cracking a joke about something she was doing or often a goofy smile on her face that she didn't realize she was doing. He missed the hell out of her, and it was a little unsettling because he couldn't figure out why. He shook off that small feeling of "what if she took a turn for the worse and he really never did see her over his shoulder again?"

He thought she annoyed him. He thought she was the bane of his existence. He thought that she as some keener he could never get out of his hair, and now that he was on his own, he was constantly thinking of her.

Then there was the other half of time that he thought about her being sick. He wondered how she was handling all of this. He knew she'd put on a front, not only for the family but herself as well, as to not freak anybody out. He knew she was internally freaking out, even though she was probably telling herself all the bright sides of everything inside that crazy head of hers. More than anything, he wondered how she was doing all of this by herself.

Yes, the family was there. He knew because Edwin kept him updated on everything that was happening. He knew Sam had visited her—which he'd heard from Sam. He knew Emily had visited her, which he heard from Ed.

But he wondered how she was handling things inside her head.

Because he was Derek, and because he did enjoy taking his mind off things and not admitting his feelings about things back home, he went out every now and then, and would often have a random hookup. It worked until it was over, and he only hooked up twice. Afterwards both times, he felt a little sick, and instantly thought of Casey scolding him for not driving them home. They'd called their own cabs, after all.

When he was done putting his stuff in the back of Mark's van, he made his way to the passenger's seat. It really was an enjoyable experience, despite how distracted he could be when he wasn't working.

"Excited to be back home?" his friend asked him.

"Yeah…I've really missed everyone." Derek nodded, looking outside his window.

"How do you think it will be seeing Casey again?" Mark had known all about his stepsister's cancer, and was able to talk about things because his own mother had beat the same disease she had, which really helped Derek cope with what was happening.

"Weird? I don't know." He shook his head, unable to even conjure what emotion he'd feel once he saw her.

"Just know that however she might look or however sick she feels is perfectly normal." His friend nodded.

"Yeah…I know." Derek nodded, still unsure how he would feel seeing Casey. He'd seen people who'd had cancer before after their treatments, and he didn't want to think of Casey having to go through anything like that.

"Don't look so guilty, D. It's good that they caught it early on. Remember that. All you can do is be there for her and not hover." His friend shrugged, and Derek was glad he had a friend like Mark. So calm and collected, just like him.

Derek arrived home in the early afternoon that day. He walked into the house, and it smelled…clean. The first thing he noticed when he walked in was all the water. There were two packs of bottled water above the washer, another pack under the sink, and when he opened the refrigerator door, he saw a pitcher full of water, and a few bottles inside as well. He vaguely remembered Casey mentioning in an email how thirsty she was all the time.

He also noticed all the healthy food in the fridge, but shrugged, because the McDonald women always made sure that there was some healthy food in there.

He looked around, and heard movement in another room.

"Hello?" he called out, leaving his bag on the kitchen counter.

"Derek?" he heard his stepmother's voice.

He walked into the living room, and smiled. She looked the same, if not a little more aged since he last saw her. He could only blame the stress, but he didn't mention it. He let her hug him, because he missed being home.

"How was it?" she smiled, releasing him.

"It was good!" he beamed. "Mark and I are going to take a week off, and then we'll start editing." He nodded.

"That's good! The kids are all out right now, and I just got called into a business meeting. I'm really glad you came right now because I was just worrying about who would pick up Casey…" she rummaged around the living room, collecting her things for her meeting.

"Yeah, I can do that, where is she?" he shrugged, trying to seem cool, because he was still a little afraid of seeing her.

"Oh, she's at chemo right now." She looked down at her wristwatch quickly. "She should be out in another three hours." She nodded. "You should go now, though! She loves having company."

"Are you sure?" he stammered, taking a step back.

"Oh, yeah! She gets bored so easily. This is her second to the last cycle until she has to start radiation."

Derek thought about it quickly. It was his one opportunity to get to see her without the family first seeing his reaction to how she looked now. He kind of wished he'd asked for a picture ahead of time to prepare himself.

"She doesn't look as bad as you're thinking." Nora couldn't hide the grin on her face as she neatly put some files into her bag.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Derek shook his head. Was he getting that easy to read?

"Yeah, well…" Nora shook off his denial. "She's just a bit thinner and looks tired." His stepmother shrugged. "She's still Casey. With less energy."

"And her hair?" he had to ask, because he knew Casey would take that pretty hard.

"She shaved it off the day after it started falling out." Nora's gaze became distant. "She donated it."

Derek nodded. If Nora said it wasn't so bad, it probably wasn't. He trusted her judgment.

"You should get going. Do you need directions?" she cocked an eyebrow up at him.

"No, I'll figure it out." He nodded.

"She'll be happy to see you, Derek." Nora smiled as she finally slung her bag over her shoulder. She came over, and planed a quick kiss on her stepson's cheek. "She's missed you more than any of us. I'll let it be a surprise that you're going." And she was out the door quickly.

Derek smiled, because he was no longer embarrassed that he'd missed her so damn much. He was glad that feeling was mutual. He hurried out to the prince, and made his way to the hospital.

And he did find where she was pretty fast. He just asked the woman at the front desk where she was, and he was happy to see that his name was not taken off the list of people who were allowed to go and see her.

He walked into the room as cool as he could. He looked around for her in the open room of chemo patients getting their treatment. A lot of them looked…a little badly off. And that gave him a very unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.

He heard girlish giggling coming from behind a curtain, and recognize one of the females. He smiled, and slowly slid the curtain to the side, revealing the back of Casey's head that was neatly wrapped in a purple scarf, and a young girl who wore a pink wig. The girl had to be around six years old and had dark circles around her eyes. She wore a pink tutu with purple leggings, and a lime green long sleeved sweater. His heart swelled at seeing the young girl attached to the machinery. She was facing Casey, and he caught her eye instantly, and he brought a finger to his lips to shush her from saying anything. Her smile only deepened, and she looked down at her fingers at the sight of the handsome man behind Casey.

Derek brought his hands over her eyes, and she jumped slightly. He felt her cheeks rise as she smiled.

"Who can this be?" there was familiar amusement in her voice. She brought her fingers to brush over his, making both of them shiver.

"It feels like…" she thought a while. "Male hands, and it can't be Edwin, because he's in Toronto until tomorrow…it can't be George because he had a case today…" she guessed some more. "Who can it be, Penny?"

"He's very handsome, Casey!" the young girl smiled up at him. He smiled back.

"One more guess, Princess." Derek said into her ear. After hearing his voice, she shrieked.

"De-rek!" she pulled at his wrist so that he was in front of her.

He saw that she looked exactly the same, just much thinner, and with dark circles under her eyes. It saddened him a little to see her this way, but he was instantly cheered up when he saw the blue in her eyes just as bright as the last time he'd seen her.

Casey pulled him in for a quick hug, not caring whether he'd hug back or not, because she was happy to see him, and she missed him so damn much. Not to her surprise, he hugged her back, trying to avoid the tubes attached to her arm. He pressed a light kiss to her cheek.

"So _this_ is Derek." The young girl said from behind them. They released, and Derek pulled up a chair beside them. "You didn't say he was so good looking, Casey." The girl observed Derek carefully.

"Please don't feed his ego, Penelope!" Casey shook her head.

Derek grinned, looking back over at Casey, and taking in the fact that she was in a long sleeve as well and had a blanket over her laps. He thought it was a little funny because it was still quite warm outside.

"Right, whatever…" the young girl rolled her eyes at her.

"Der, this is Penelope. She's been with me since the last cycle I had. Pen, this is Derek, my stepbrother." She nodded at the two.

Derek reached out his hand, that the young girl took happily, shaking enthusiastically.

"You have strong grip!" the girl noted.

Derek smirked at the young girl. She reminded him of Marti when the McDonald's had first moved into the house. Very colorful and very energetic. If Marti was able to get her hands on some wigs, he's sure she wouldn't take them off.

About thirty minutes of talking with Penelope, and Casey smiling the whole time at the young girl as she talked to her stepbrother, Derek fell in love with the young girl. He didn't even remember that she was sick until a nurse came and took the tubes out of the young girl, and an older woman walked into the room.

"Oh, Casey, thank you so much for keeping her company again today. I got so much done." The woman exclaimed.

"It's fine, Mrs. Daniels. I always enjoy Penny's company." Casey shrugged.

"Mommy! This is my new friend, Derek!" Penelope giggled, pointing at him. Her mother turned, and smiled at Derek.

"This is my stepbrother, Derek." Casey laughed lightly at Penelope's enthusiasm.

After the introduction, Penelope gave a hug to Derek first. She then gave one to Casey, and whispered in her ear, and Casey only tickled the young girl. Then they were gone.

"She's…something." Derek shook his head.

"Yeah…she's the reason I even like coming now. It's too bad her appointments start two hours earlier than mine." Casey sighed.

"What does she have?" Derek was now concerned for his new young friend.

"Leukemia." Casey sat back, and looked out the window beside her. "Much worse than what I have. She practically lives here."

"And she still has all that energy." Derek murmured.

"Yeah." Casey smiled. "I really love her." She looked thoughtful, and Derek wondered what she was thinking.

They sat in silence for a while until Casey snapped out of her daze.

"So the documentary?" she smiled, trying to encourage him to talk about it.

"Amazing. I met…so many awesome people." He grinned.

"I saw you in that Smosh video." She grinned at him

"You have no idea how amazing that was. They even let me sit in while they were editing." He got a starry look in his eyes, and Casey smiled. He looked so good.

"That's great, Der." She said softly.

He looked at her, and sighed.

"I had an awesome time, but…" he looked down, unsure how to say anything. She reached over, and grabbed his hand that was laying palm up on the armrest of his chair.

"I missed you too, Der."

How the hell did she do that? Just…_know_ everything he was thinking all the time.

"Pfft…I wasn't thinking that at all." He rolled his eyes, trying to make himself seem less vulnerable, but tightened his grip on her hand, and brought it to his lips to press them against it softly.

"Yeah…I was only joking about missing you." She rolled her eyes. He looked up and caught that electric blue in her eyes that only came out when they were teasing one another. He smiled.

"It's really good to see you, Casey."

"You, too, Der…"

* * *

**Seems a bit rushed, I know. It was a little weird to write this chapter, because i was always there for this person in my life, and it was weird writing the transition of Derek seeing her two months later. **

**I've said it before, I'll say it again, I'm not a doctor. so please don't hate me if i get stuff wrong.**

**shout out to Smosh! lol I'm obsessed with that channel. and Pewdiepie. I know my youtube celebs better than my television and movie celebs haha. i thought it'd be a cool experience for Derek, because they film and edit just like anyone else in the movie industry. I think youtube is so much more successful than anything on tv, which is really cool to me. I'd pick being a youtube star over a television/movie star any day of the week.**

**I really don't know how long this fic will be now, I'm still hoping for five chapters so...we'll see! Idk what to expect in this next one though! this site is getting a little dead-ish, so i hope people are still reading!**

**Please review! I love reading them:)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Shorter chapter, but I needed to update. Enjoy:)**

* * *

It was easy to see that Casey often tried to busy herself the best she could. The house was the cleanest Derek had ever seen it. She would even sometimes sneak into Marti and Simon's rooms to tidy up a bit.

He would just sit back in his recliner and watch her. She would often take a deep breath, and sit on the couch for a few minutes before she went back at it and finished her job.

"Since you're trying to seem busy, why don't you make me a sandwich?" he smirked at her, and flipped the channels casually.

"Oh, let me just do that." She scoffed, and sat back down on the sofa.

"I'm just saying. You seem to be trying to kill time." He shrugged.

Casey glared at him, and it gave him a sense of satisfaction that he was getting a reaction out of her. He was quite happy to see that their dynamic wasn't changing at all.

He'd been back home for a little over two weeks now. Him and Mark were in the middle of editing, which was going smoothly. He was off today, though.

He looked over to her, noticing her movement. She was pulling on a cardigan and snuggling underneath a blanket. Her eyes looked heavy and her body looked weak as sat back against the sofa and sighed.

"Tired?"

"Yeah…It's getting a lot worse." She shrugged. "That's why I clean, though. Because I know I'm going to get tired easily, so I make the best of the energy I _do_ have."

"Need anything?" his eyebrows knit together as he eyed her. She giggled softly.

"Just a few seconds ago, you were bossing me to make you a sandwich. Now you're offering _your_ services?"

"Don't get used to it, princess." He shrugged. "I don't mind."

"I'm good. I've already eaten and cleaned everyth—" she was interrupted by her phone receiving a message. She reached over and checked, her eyes instantly rolling and she threw her head back with a groan. "I swear, Emily wears me out more than this chemo is." Casey shook her head.

"Best friends forever!" Derek teased with a high pitched voice.

"She just feels guilty. So she thinks we have to talk every minute of the day to make up for time we 'probably won't have later'." Casey air quoted her friend's words.

Derek only shook his head. He told Casey that if she didn't reply then Emily would just think she's sleeping, and Case liked that idea.

They were sitting for about ten minutes when Derek looked over to see that she was already asleep. He could just leave her there to sleep, but then she would have a crick in her neck. Usually, he would love for that to happen. He hated that he felt bad for her that she was sick, but she just looked so weak and fragile. She didn't need one more thing to pain her, even if it was just a temporary pain.

Their dynamic had changed so much. Not just with her getting diagnosed and everything, but even in college. He did often find himself carrying her to her bed when she'd fall asleep on the couch after dinner. The first time he carried her, he pretended to almost drop her. Boy, that was funny.

So, he stood up, and bent to reach under her legs and back to easily lift her. She was lighter than the last time, but who would be surprised.

"Der?" she whispered, as he started walking with her to the basement.

"Shh…I'm just taking you to bed so you won't be sore when you wake."

She smiled weakly, and rested her head back on his shoulder. He really didn't mind carrying her. He actually liked it. It made him feel more masculine to carry a woman around like that. Even _if_ that woman was Casey.

As he gently lay her on her bed, he pulled the covers over her.

"I can do it." she said shyly as she reached for her covers.

"Case, it's okay if I take care of you, you know. I don't mind." Derek shrugged.

"I don't like for you to feel bad for me…" Casey said tiredly as she snuggled into her blanket.

"It's not that, Case. But if it was _me_ with cancer, I know you'd be helping me with everything, too." He said softly as he adjusted the pillow under her head. Casey looked thoughtful for a while.

"You'd be a bigger pain in the ass, though." She cracked a smile.

"Probably. I do like for people to wait on my every need." He shrugged. That was true enough.

Casey sighed, as she was already drifting back into sleep. He noted that she didn't really look too bad. Just the regular thinness and circles under her eyes. Then again, he hadn't been around for her to really be sick, yet. He'd been gone almost every night editing with Mark until the mornings.

He got up to leave, and was almost out the door when she called after him.

"Yeah, Case?" he whispered.

"Der…" she started again, and sighed. He took a few steps closer. "I'm really glad you _weren't_ the one who ended up with cancer."

"What?"

"I'm just saying…I wouldn't wish this on anyone…I know that I act cool and collected, but…this is really hell, Derek." She looked into his eyes for a brief moment, and closed them.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'd still rather it were me, Case." He whispered softly and made his way out of the room.

* * *

Marti was taking everything a lot easier than he was. She was often checking on Casey to make sure she was well-hydrated and fed. Casey would smile at the thirteen year old girl. She was sure that Marti wanted to be a nurse one day. Simon was her little assistant. He even had a stethoscope he'd carry around. Casey was sure he didn't know how to use it, because the kid would put it on her forehead and stomach, and then nod his head and say, "She's good."

Like Marti, George too, would check in on her. He bought her tons of movies to watch. Even though he was a Venturi, and tried to act masculine half the time, he had great taste in romantic flicks. Sometimes, he'd even sit in and watch them with her, secretly grabbing a tissue from the box in her laps.

Lizzie was another story. Like Emily, Lizzie tired Casey with her phone calls. Lizzie was doing a summer internship in the Kingston area for the summer, and had been gone. She called to check in on Casey as much as she could. After every phone call, she'd tell Lizzie that she'd call if anything major happened, which was never. Derek couldn't help but smirk at Casey as she practically slept through half of the conversation with her younger sister.

* * *

That night after he'd taken her to bed earlier that day, Derek almost decided to not sleep in the basement with Casey, because he wasn't really sure yet where he'd be sleeping. At the last minute, he made his way into the basement and threw himself on his bed. He really had been worn out from his own activities, and was still catching up on sleep from editing and stuff.

Briefly, he thought back on Casey saying she was glad it was her with cancer rather than him. He guessed anyone would feel like that, but for her to say it really meant something. He didn't doubt that she cared about him, but it was weird when they both acknowledged their own care for one another. And there had been a lot of that lately.

He heard heavy breathing in the bed next to him, and he lifted his head up to look over at her. She had sat up abruptly, and bolted to the restroom. She didn't leave time for closing the door, but she just threw herself onto the floor in front of the toilet as she heaved heavily before she puked.

He grimaced, and sat up. He walked to the restroom, and looked down at his stepsister looking so fragile and tiny on the floor wrapped around the toilet. She wore a blue beanie over her head. He could feel his heart in his chest thumping extra hard at that moment, and he didn't know why. It could be seeing her like this, and realizing what she'd been going through since she first started chemo. Seeing her genuinely sick against the toilet really made him realize what she meant when she said it was hell. She was probably going through this every night while he was gone.

But he wasn't going to let her be alone in this anymore. He crouched down beside her and pat her back as she continued heaving.

"Case…" he whispered. She looked up at him with tear filled eyes, and shook her head.

"Go, Der…I'm almost done." Her voice shook uncontrollably as she spoke to him.

"No." he shook his head determinedly. "I'm here now. Do you need something?"

She heaved, and threw up one more time. Wiping her mouth, she sat back against the tub, still breathing heavily. She reached over and flushed the toilet.

"Some water?" she nodded.

Derek stood, and reached down for her. "C'mon, let me help you up." He whispered, and once again reached under her to carry her to her bed. "I'll be right back." He flicked on her lamp next to her bed, and turned to head upstairs for her drink.

To his surprise, Nora was in the kitchen. It had to be 2AM by now.

"Nora?" he cocked his head to the side.

"Hey…" she whispered. "I was just getting some water to send downstairs to Casey…"

"That's what I came up for, actually."

"She feeling sick?" Nora was in mom mode now.

"Just puking. I can take care of her, Nora." Derek nodded as he reached for the cup.

"You don't have to, Derek, really." Nora smiled.

"No, I want to." He nodded his head. He reached into the cabinet for a box of crackers. "She hasn't eaten since lunch." He shrugged. "Night!"

"Derek!" Nora called after him. He turned as he was about to step down the stairs. "What brought this on?"

He stood there as he thought about his answer to his stepmother, who stood patiently waiting for the reply.

"If it were me…she'd do the same." He shrugged. The answer was good enough for Nora, because she said her last goodnight, and made her way upstairs.

With that, Derek made his way back down to Casey. It was safe to say that from then on, he made sure to be there for her as much as he could if she needed his help.

* * *

**Safe to say that Derek is now realizing what she's going through. I know it's a little out of character, but we have to realize that they've become friends over the years, and he cares for her like she does him. He's taking some responsibility and taking care of her, because we all know Casey would do the same for him, right?**

**Sorry such a short chapter, but i hadn't updated in a bit. The next one will come sooner. This fic will definitely be longer than 5 chapters haha. I'm liking the direction i'm going in, though.**

**Review? :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Derek straightened out his tie. He hated wearing suits, but he figured it was only appropriate. He sighed at himself in the mirror. His hair was kept, and his black suit was neatly pressed. Dapper would be the word he was looking for.

The drive to his destination wasn't a long one. It was only a five minute drive. He ignored the faces and the cautious glances he got when he entered the building. He didn't want their sympathy. He didn't need it.

Derek walked down the aisle, almost afraid to reach the end of it, but there was peace to be made, and she'd never forgive him if he didn't go see her.

Casey McDonald was really beautiful even in her death bed, he had to admit. He was ashamed that he was only able to admit this once she was dead, but she really was. She looked…peaceful. It was as if she'd never been sick, because the dark circles under her eyes were no longer there, and she was glowing to say the least.

"At least you aren't suffering, I guess." He whispered after he'd kneeled next to her coffin, not caring if anyone saw him being vulnerable to Casey McDonald. "But the attention is finally on you, you big drama queen." He mumbled. "Just like you always secretly wanted…"

He expected her brow to furrow and her hand to smack the back of his head, but neither came. She just lay there. Lifeless. Perfect, but lifeless all the same.

"God dammit, Case…why would you do this? What gives you the right to go off and die on _me_…I mean us…everyone…" he corrected himself in his silent rant to her. "Can't you see that I…" he couldn't form the words. Even now, while she's there dead before him, it was difficult to express his feelings.

"That I love you…" he finally choked out, not realizing that the tears had long ago trailed down his cheeks. "Yeah…that deep…" he sighed, resting his head in his hands. "And you're not even here to freak out about it, either…" he picked his head up to see if there'd be a reaction. To see if this wasn't just some huge elaborate prank she was pulling on him just to get him back.

His nostrils flared. "Dammit!" his voice rose, grabbing the attention of the other guests. "Wake up!" he yelled at her. "Casey, you fucking—"

He was yanked away from her casket by some strong hands that he could only guess belonged to his father and best friend.

"Let go!" Derek yelled at them. "She can't do this to me! She _can't_!" and he was thrown on the ground, away from her.

He woke abruptly in bed, breathing heavily. He wasn't sweating, but he felt hallow and couldn't catch his breath. His chest ached from what he guessed was why he was breathing so heavily.

It wasn't the first time he'd dreamt of her dying. The first time was the night after he'd found out she was diagnosed. Except then, she'd looked sickly in her death bed, and he'd always cracked before he even reached her casket.

Derek looked around their room, the privacy curtain down so he can check her at night, and she was there in her bed. He watched her steady breathing, and laid back on his bed, closing his eyes with relief for a brief second.

"Bad dream?" her voice called over to him. He flinched slightly, not expecting to hear her voice, but relaxed realizing that it was nice to hear after a dream like that.

"A horrible one." He sighed, sleepily.

"Wanna talk about it?" she asked softly, leaning up on her elbow trying to see his face in the darkness.

"Not really…" he chuckled. "Thanks, though…" he paused a few beats. "You need anything?"

"No…I'm fine…" she whispered, and relaxed onto her bed.

Derek closed his eyes, trying to drift back into sleep. He didn't have nightmares often, it was mainly when Casey had a bad day, which was a lot lately. She'd try to power through it, but she was looking worse, and he couldn't stand to see her like that. She still had a fight in her, and to that he was grateful, but he was afraid it wouldn't last long.

He didn't want that dream to ever become a reality, anytime soon, at least. He'd hoped they'd both be very old before one of them died. Derek never thought about death as much as he had in the past few months in his whole life.

It was what he told her at her casket that always had him wondering. Why would it be such a big deal for her to know he loved her? He knew he loved her, even though he never said it out loud to anyone. He didn't know what the love meant, exactly. In his dream, it seemed that he loved her more than a stepsister or a friend. Did that mean he loved her like a girlfriend or something? He seemed so sure of himself in his dream, that those feelings were that of a boyfriend. Now that he was awake, he wondered if his dreams were trying to tell him to pursue her. But what an off idea that was…

He felt a small draft as his covers lifted, and a body sank next to him, and cuddled against his body.

"Casey?" he murmured through his half sleep.

"I'm cold, and you need someone to reassure your nightmares." She whispered against his chest. He was glad he'd worn a shirt to bed tonight.

With her body against his right now, though however weak it may be, it felt right. To have her there. Whatever these feelings were that he was feeling now and had been for a while, he just wondered if those dreams were trying to tell him something about just taking the first step with Casey.

So because he didn't want to refuse her, he let out a long sigh. "If you get uncomfortable, you tell me, Casey…" he told her, wrapping an arm around her and bringing her closer.

"I'll be fine, you big baby." She mumbled and rested her head against his chest. It wasn't weird for them to be touching. There was a lot of that lately, since he'd decided to start helping her out last week.

He hadn't slept so well in days.

When he woke, she wasn't there. He turned his head to her bed, but it was already neatly made. He turned his head back to where hers had rested the whole night, and he could smell her soap against the fabric, and that brought a light smile to his lips.

After freshening up in the restroom, he made his way upstairs to the kitchen. Nora and Casey were already there. Casey had a blank look on her face as she stared out into the backyard where Marti and Simon were playing together. Nora had her arms around Casey's waist, whispering in her ear. Casey just nodded to her mother's words, and said mother pressed a gentle kiss to the back of Casey's neck. He saw his stepsister take a long shuddering breath as if she was holding something in.

Nora sighed, and released her daughter, looking up and seeing Derek. Nora's eyes were glassed over with tears, but she walked by Derek, patting his arm. She gave him a look as if telling him to watch over her. And with that, Nora had walked out to the backyard to play with her children.

"Casey?" he said uneasily as he walked into the kitchen. He didn't like how this scene was playing out. She didn't turn around to look at him, but just waved her hand weakly at him, still staring out into the backyard.

"Everything okay?" he tried again.

He saw the slight shake of her head, and he felt a knot in his stomach. This had to be bad, because she was usually very chipper under any circumstance. He'd never seen her like this before.

"What happened?" he walked up beside her, and put his arm around her back. "Casey, talk to me…" his voice was a soft panic, and his grip on her tightened lightly.

She looked into his concerned eyes with a sigh. He'd tried reading her expression, but only saw one of sorrow.

"Penelope's dead."

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**Slight throat lump writing this one.**

**Review?**


	6. Chapter 6

**To my reviewer who didn't know who Penelope was, reread chapter three. lol**

**Enjoy.**

**Also, there is going to be an author's rant at the bottom lol.**

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Derek had taken Casey to Penelope's funeral. He even saw her small body in the casket, and it made him sick to his stomach that the young girl had received this horrible fate. Penelope was much like Marti was at that age, and that was what made it harder for Derek. He'd only met her once, but just knowing that a girl that age was going through what she had to drove him crazy. He didn't even want to think about all the other children on the planet that were going through the same thing, and possibly the same fate.

He kept glancing at Casey through the whole service. He knew the two had gotten close during their chemo cycles, so he expected some outrageous combustion of tears. He didn't get that reaction at all. Casey just sat there, staring blankly towards the front of the room where the young girl lay peacefully.

He kept watching, even when Casey stood up to go and kneel next to the young girl's casket. They were only sitting in the second row, so if she said anything, he'd be able to at least hear a mumble. From watching her since they'd gotten there, she'd been really quiet, almost emotionless. So after that, he half expected her to just stare at Penny with a silent prayer in her head.

To his surprise, he heard her, but she wasn't talking. She was singing. He recognized the song right away, and trying to be as manly as he can, he swallowed the lump in his throat and in his head sang along. During a certain part of the song, she hired her voice a little.

**_You were only waiting for this moment to be free._**

**_Blackbird fly…_**

She sang the lines loud enough for him to hear, and he could tell they meant more to her as a message to their young friend. As the song came to a close, he saw Casey wipe a tear away and place a note inside with the young girl. She leaned down, and pressed a simple kiss to her forehead.

Derek had paid his own respects to Penelope before he led Casey to the car, not taking his arm from around her shoulders, because he knew she'd break at any moment. He knew she was being strong, and he wondered for who it was.

It was quiet on the way to the house, and she had purposely turned the radio off when he'd started the car. He was afraid to talk, because he was afraid of being pushed away. Never in his life did he want to just hear Casey McDonald speak. Not only that, but tell him how she's feeling, because he was dying to know. It was weirder for her to be so reserved than for him to ask about it. And before he did get a chance to say anything, she spoke.

"She was six going on sixty." She sighed. "She loved The Beatles."

"My kind of girl." Derek tried to lighten the mood. Casey smiled, and messed with a button on her black cardigan.

"I'm sorry for acting so off. I just…" Casey looked out the window. "I've never been to a funeral." She shook her head, shaking away the thought as she changed the subject back to the song. "I sang Blackbird, because I knew she loved the song. It was written for civil rights, but I when I first heard it, I thought it was about hope for someone setting their spirit free." She shrugged. "She was trapped in her sickness…and now…she doesn't have to be…"

**_You were only waiting for this moment to be free_**

He replayed the line in his head, and swallowed the millionth lump that formed in his throat that day.

As he pulled into the driveway, he realized that everyone was home, aside from the two college kids who were doing their separate orientations. Edwin in Toronto, and Lizzie in Kingston. He sighed, as he turned off the car.

They both sat in silence, neither wanting to get out just yet.

"So how are you? You've been quieter than me this whole time." Casey placed her hand on his shoulder.

He looked down at her hand, and back at her. She looked lovely in her plain black dress and cardigan mixture. She wore a gray head wrap, and the colors mixed made her eyes look even more electric than usual.

"I'm okay, Case. Just a lot on my mind." _Like wondering how you're really handling this_.

She nodded, still not sure if she believed him, but reached for the door nevertheless. When she met him on his side of the car, she slung an arm around her shoulders, and pulled her up against him for a hug, because he hadn't hugged her all day, and he knew she needed it. He enclosed his other arm around her waist and pulled her flush against his body. He heard the air get knocked out of her, but it didn't stop him.

It took her a couple of seconds to register that he wasn't going to pull away yet, so she enclosed her arms around him, too latching onto his dress shirt so he wouldn't pull away yet. She didn't realize he was a good hugger, but of course he would be, because he never did it before. It was so like him to keep something this good away from her.

"I know I haven't said anything, and I know you know I'm here for you if you need me…but, I really am sorry you lost Penny. I know how much you loved her, and it broke my heart to see her today, too even if I didn't know her the way you did." He said to her, his chin still in the crook of her neck. With those words, they held each other tighter. What Derek was afraid to say, was that he was really happy her cancer wasn't as serious as Penelope's.

"Thanks for coming, Derek…" she whispered, and pulled way. For a moment, they looked at each other, still holding on lightly. Quickly, she leaned up and pushed a kiss to his cheek, and turned to walk in the house.

He knew it was just a kiss on the cheek, and he knew that the purpose was because he'd done her a favor by accompanying her to her first funeral because she was scared, but the kiss still gave him get that weird feeling in his gut. He shook it off and mentally slapped himself for the thought. He needed to stop thinking these things.

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Casey was acting off the next couple of days. She was due for her last cycle pretty soon, and she was wishing to get it done and over with. She was starting radiation soon after, and from the looks of things, she was only going to need three straight weeks of it.

But even Derek noticed that she was more quiet now, and she never fought back the way she used to. She was more of a robot than anything, and that worried him more than anything. Casey was always outspoken, even while she was ill. She always made sure her voice was heard, but ever since Penny's death, the house was faced with her silence.

Derek didn't push it out of her. He knew Casey, and if she didn't freely express herself on her own, it wouldn't end well. Little did he know that whether she was pushed for information or not, she was going to explode with all of those feelings bottled up.

Derek had come home from a long day of planning with Mark, when he heard a crash downstairs. It sounded more like glass, and more shuffling. He could only guess Casey had fallen as he rushed down to their shared room in the basement.

"Casey?!" he called, and paused in the entrance to the disaster area of their bedroom. Anything that was previously on a shelf had been thrown to the floor, and their mirror was smashed to pieces everywhere.

He could only guess that her tantrum had just begun, because she was still breathing heavily, and there were still surfaces that were filled with their belongings that she probably would've thrown had he not gotten down there.

"What the hell?" he approached her slowly, stepping over the glass. He took note that she wasn't wearing shoes.

"Exactly. This is hell." She said angrily, and turned away from him to step over to her bed.

"You wanna tell me what this is all about, Spacey?" he cocked an eyebrow at her that she didn't see.

She turned around swiftly, and he caught that her face was tear stained, and he flinched away, still getting used to tears around her. He'd seen her cry enough times to be used to it, but she caught him off guard on the off day.

"I'm pissed, Derek." She stated mater-of-factly. She then raised her voice. "I'm fucking pissed!"

That caught him off guard because never in his life had he heard her cuss with such venom, and although it startled him, he remained calm. She was finally expressing an emotion he had expected her to have when she was first diagnosed.

"Okay, you're pissed, Case. Talk to me, tell me why." He spread his arms out as to invite her in on the conversation.

"This whole time…" she plunked herself on her bed. "I was trying to look on the bright side that my chances of living were a hell of a lot better than my chances of dying." She shook her head disbelievingly. "That's one hell of a bright side. But my question, is what the hell have I done to deserve this?" she looked up at him as if he'd have the answer. "I've been…great! A model citizen, in fact! I eat healthy, exercise, I give back…just so I can get cancer and have that possibility of dying?"

He knew she was being selfish, but in reality, Casey needed this. She needed to break down, because he was sick and fucking tired of her bottling up everything. So he was ready for her. He had been silently preparing himself for this moment.

"You're not going to die, Casey." He said after she'd stopped talking. "I won't let you."

"Yeah, right. You'd probably be happy if I just stopped bothering you." She rolled her eyes, and hugged her knees to her chest.

"God dammit!" he yelled, and viciously kicked the debris on the floor. She flinched, and looked at him with wide eyes. "Shut up, Casey! I get that you're mad, I'm glad you are!" he didn't lower his voice. He just watched her eyebrows knit together. "You need to be fucking mad, I'm pissed that this happened to you, too! You're perfect, and this happened. It sucks…" he shook his head, and he calmed down, sitting next to her on her bed. "But don't you for a second go and say that I want you to die. Because we both know that's bullshit."

"You should be enjoying your life, Derek. Not picking up after me every day." She didn't want to look at him, so she turned her head to look at the wall.

"Fuck, Case!" he stood again, and looked down at her. "You think I'd be here if I didn't want to? Did you ever fucking stop and think that maybe I enjoy spending my time with you?"

She only buried her head into her knees again. "Why would you?"

"What do you mean why would I?" The genuine confusion overtook him.

She snapped her head up to look at him. "Look at me, Derek." She hissed at him. "I'm a fucking freak show. I have no hair, and I look like I haven't eaten or gotten any sun in weeks. Tell me again why you or anyone would want to spend any time with me at all?" she was unleashing her hidden feelings to him again, and it shocked him that she thought this way.

"Casey, it's the chemo…" he shook his head, sinking on the bed closer to her this time. "You're still beautiful…" She looked up at him, her lips trembling.

"I'll never get married…no man would ever want to look at me or deal with my baggage."

"Casey, in two months-time, you'll be in remission." Derek informed her.

"What if it doesn't work. What if all of this—"

"No." he said simply. "I'll allow you to break down, Casey. But I won't let you for a second think that this thing is going to run your life."

She looked into his eyes, searching for anything that would say he was messing with her, but she never got it. She knew they'd moved on since their high school days of somewhat loathing one another. She knew she loved Derek and he loved her, not that they'd openly tell each other on a daily basis. She never thought he'd try to save her from herself, though. She needed his strength, she decided in that moment, and she had never been happier to have anyone in her life.

She flung her arms around him, and he held her as she sobbed into him..

"I'm just upset because of Penny…she was just a baby, Der…If she died, then why am I still alive? What did I do that was so great?" she cried to him. He didn't mention that she'd just ranted that she was a model citizen that didn't deserve cancer, but he just held her tighter.

"I don't know, Case. But I need you to not beat yourself up about this. Everything that's happened since your birthday was out of our hands. People go through these things without there ever being a reason. Don't let this beat you. You're stronger than this." He whispered the words of encouragement into her ear. She nodded her head, and calmed her breathing.

"Der?" she looked up at him. He eyed her warily, exhausted from all of the emotion that was put into their day already. "I'm sorry about all this…about doubting how you felt about…about whatever we are…" she looked down shyly. "I'm just…getting through this…" she sighed, and rested her head against his chest.

"It's cool, Case…we all are." He sighed, and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

Nora suddenly made her entrance into the room, Casey very much unaware of her presence. His stepmother eyed the two embracing one another, and Derek made eye contact with her. Her eyes were widened at the chaotic state of the room, and back up at Derek.

_I've got it_, he mouthed to her. Nora tilted her head to the side, and he saw the glisten in her eye as she smiled at Derek, proud that he was so grown up in such a sticky situation. Had the roles been reversed, she'd be just as broken down as Casey, crying her eyes out with her daughter. She thanked her stars for Derek Venturi.

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**I do love The Beatles. Blackbird is really a beautiful song, too. If you haven't seen the movie Across the Universe yet, I highly suggest it. It's a musical with nothing but Beatles music.**

**I was checking out other ff on this site and saw that in other communities, the reviewers are quite rude to the authors. I saw a few where they begged them to stop writing! I mean even I get the random rude comment every now and then, but that's crazy to me. I think people forget that this is fanfiction. They need to remember that we're all amateur writers for the most part, and we're just writing what we wish would happen. No need to bite anyone's head off. Try not reading the story instead of shooting a person down for their style of writing.**

**Rant over, sorry for that.**

**I'll try to update this sooner than later. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Dasey will come eventually! I know I wanted this to just be a short one, but I see it being a little longer. Who knows!**

**Also, I'm thinking of making a part 2 to How Far will He Go?/ I have millions of ideas.**

**Review?**


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